When we attempt to learn something, it is a brave thing to do. As we get on in life, in many ways it requires more and more courage. As a baby we learn our language without any extra effort required. Our learning at primary school is often a joy, but as we get into our teenage years and beyond, there appears to be more courage needed to overcome the fear of change.
Learning is a wonderful thing. Some might say that even the OPPORTUNITY for learning is a wonderful thing – many people across the world are deprived of the opportunity. The benefit to oneself of learning a new skill, gaining a new qualification, creating a new habit is a form of inner growth that will benefit us in mind, body and spirit.
Learning to drive certainly falls into this category: the personal benefits to be gained from obtaining a full driving licence are clear to see. It will open doors that were previously closed. Both professionally and personally, the advantages of being free in our mobility are obvious. Yet despite this clear fact, it does beg the question why some people seem to struggle so much with the process of learning. The reward of achieving their goal is clear in their mind, there is no doubt that they have the motivation, the desire to succeed and yet, when it comes down to the means by which they achieve the goal, there is something that appears to be getting in the way; blocking or obstructing the learning required that will help them to learn.
Why does this occur? Is it a physical inability or a mental (cognitive) inability? This is an interesting question because it forces us to consider what are the ingredients needed for us to see improvement. One might well be able to eventually, with practice, formulate the words and expressions needed to physically express new words in a language that is being learnt, but how does one construct a sensible, meaningful sentence. Learning the vocabulary is one aspect of learning a new language, the physical ability to say the new words is another, being able to listen and decipher the words spoken by another person is another ingredient and having the ability to think of what you WANT to say and then formulate the correct order of words so that you can be understand by another is indeed, another skill.
Similarly, we could know how to operate a vehicle, so that it moves in the direction we want with consistency, accuracy and control – this is undoubtedly good news. But knowing how to operate the vehicle on the roads is another skill entirely. Appreciating the rules of the road, what we should, should not, must, must not do in a wide range of different situations will take some effort to learn. No one is necessarily expecting to see perfection, in much the same way that perfection is not required in speaking a new language, but there is an expectation to be capable of being safe on the road – or with the language analogy, to be understood. People can tolerate an unusual accent, the odd word being mispronounced, even perhaps the words in a sentence being not in the correct order or missing; but if another person can interpret what is being said, then generally, there is a tolerance for lower standards. And so it is with driving. Everyone will expect you to be safe, the driving doesn’t necessarily have to be perfect, but yes you do need to be able to control the vehicle, you do need to be able to drive around safely and complying with the law. There isn’t anything particularly controversial in this statement, it just seems to be the means by which we get to that standard that can be problematic.
It is tempting to think, and many people do, that to formally demonstrate competence, they need to pass the theory test and practical test – THAT is the defining goal, because ultimately, that is what produces the required certificates that leads to the driving licence. Therefore, they become fixated, one might even say obsessed in attempting to understand and achieve the criteria for passing the tests ONLY. They do not recognise any difference in the standard needed to pass a test, as compared to what is needed to be capable and compliant post-test. The testing procedure is in the control of the DVSA, they decide how people are tested, they also decide what people should learn to be safe on the roads. Their guidance is to learn to drive in the dark for example, in poor weather, on country roads, on motorways. They advise that you learn about all the different manoeuvres that you might need to be able to do when driving around – not only what might crop up on a test. If you search “Summary of skills when learning to drive” you can see a list of these skills that they advise you learn – whether you do it formally with the guidance of a driving instructor or not is not (currently) insisted upon, but learn them is an expectation. Not because they might come up on a driving test, because they don’t offer tests in the dark, or in severe adverse weather or on motorways, but because it will mean you will be more able to be safe and compliant.
So how one perceives the goal is certainly one aspect that can adversely affect outcomes. And putting that one aside for a moment, it is not necessarily a given that even if one has the best of intentions of learning the syllabus as per the DVSA guidance, that it means one can. There can be many reasons why someone might struggle to learn how to get control of a vehicle. Just as, there can be many reasons why someone might find difficulty in learning the theory knowledge. But generally speaking, with deliberate practice, focussed, sustained, controlled practice, generally the majority of people will succeed.
Persevering in adversity is not easy. It can be incredibly effortful. It can require digging very deep, within oneself, to overcome any problems that might arise. This can go well beyond what a driving instructor can help you to overcome. The will of some people can be extremely powerful. It is almost as if there is something inside them that is absolutely determined to prevent them from listening to advice and applying themselves to the degree required to improve. It is very interesting to observe and can be completely debilitating. You sometimes have to be very courageous to learn how to drive. It really can make you learn about yourself. There can be many obstacles that prevent someone from learning, and sometimes it is not necessarily an inability to learn the skills needed, but more an inability to know HOW to learn the skills needed. Some people find it difficult to know how to learn. This can be related to grit and determination, but it can also be related to putting aside one’s ego that then ENABLES one to learn. We can get preoccupied in many distracting thoughts and feelings that prevent the required focus, to learn. Thoughts about how we might be perceived by other road users or how a driving instructor might think of us, or how our friends and family might think of us. Any of these things, have very little to do with the skills of learning to drive, but everything to do with the process of learning – and they can be very negative.
There is a sentence in a lovely poem from Anais Nin, that touches on this subject quite beautifully:
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom“.
It can be painful to just observe a pupil who is battling within themselves, it will undoubtedly be much more painful to the pupil. They know what they need to do, they hear what their instructor is saying to them, but there are other forces at work within them, that are preventing them from improving. It takes much courage to identify what is stopping them from ‘coming out to blossom’. It can need much soul-searching, much deep reflection, and willingness to identify precisely what is happening. There are a few videos on the BIG TOM YouTube channel that refer to this topic; if you find yourself nodding as you read this blog, you may well benefit from taking a look at the videos. Be brave, be courageous and start thinking upon this as attempting to understand what it is that is personally making this difficult FOR YOU.
